Don’t stop now
I keep starting sentences and then deleting them. Maybe I don’t really have anything to say. Maybe I do but it’s stuck in SparkySpace. SparkySpace is definitely a black hole for words.
I’ve tried to pay attention today. You know…be aware, listen, take notes…
I heard “Don’t give up.”
I heard “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.” (Nehemiah 6:3)
I heard “Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame. Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned. But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die, you gotta get up and try, and try, and try.” (Try, Pink)
I heard ”Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit, smelling foulness I can’t even imagine, or maybe I just don’t want to. Five hundred yards…that’s the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.” (Red, The Shawshank Redemption)
I wish I could say this is all that I heard. But every word of hope and determination and encouragement was countered by about a dozen words of hope-sucking discouragement. Staying awake, alert, and oriented x4 is no mean feat. It would be easier to live drowsy. I’m not interested in “easier”, however. I’m too far gone for that. Too ruined. There is a reason I always carry a match in my shoe, a reason I’m not without one even when barefoot.
The world keeps the earth-dwellers jacked up on caffeine and spiritual benedryl so that everyone stays jittery but sleepy and doesn’t react to the things that ought to make anyone’s spirit itchy.
I’m not a citizen of this world, and I don’t want any of that koolaid.