Of course, I think I need a nap no matter what my night sleep was like.  That’s just the way I roll.  Beauty sleep is good for…um…something.

So anyway, this afternoon I snuggled down to nap.  And once again I found myself dreaming.

First I dreamed that the youngest Sparkette cut my iPhone in half…with a butter knife.  Cut right through my pink otterbox case, even.  I picked up both halves and was flabbergasted and livid.  Seriously? She cut my phone in half with a butter knife?  Oh yeah…she sure did.  I had half in each hand.  Weird.

Then I dreamed I went to get a shellac manicure and after I left the salon I realized that the nail tech never cured the polish under the UV lamp (shellac manicures are a UV-hardened gel polish that lasts at least two weeks when done properly).  I remember looking down and my nail polish was peeling and smearing right off.  I was so bummed because I’d just wasted a Groupon on it, and now my nails were going to look bad for a trip I was about to take.

The latter dream was likely prompted because I’d just been looking at shellac colors online.  I’ve never had a shellac manicure before, but I do indeed have an appointment coming up, and though I’m not using a Groupon, I am using a similar deal to pay for it.  I’m also timing it so that I won’t have to mess with nail polish when I take a trip.  Almost every time I have nail polish with me on a flight, the bottle either breaks or works its way loose so that it leaks or spills.  Having your luggage reek of nail polish is NOT the way to be the most popular kid on the trip.  Nor does it make your toothbrush tasty.  Trust me on this one.  I’m experienced.

I have no explanation for the iPhone dream.

I believe that dreams often have meaning for our lives.  I believe that sometimes God gives them to us to tell us or show us something.  That’s pretty useful.  I also believe that sometimes our souls work things out through our dreams, revealing to us things we’d not considered in our conscious thoughts.  Also pretty useful.  And then there are the random neuron firings that tell wacko stories that we never really make sense of in our waking life.  Like the dream I had when I was a kid that I was at my grandpa’s house and I was chased by a box of Grapenuts.

Yes, I really had that dream.   I can still remember it.  When I eat Grapenuts, I always let them get soggy in milk and then I chew them with great gusto.  Just to be safe.  I’m pretty sure soggy, chewed-up Grapenuts wouldn’t be able to do much damage.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Anyway, tonight I’m bushed.  Mr. Sparky and I took the youngest Sparkette out to dinner at a nice restaurant and then to see a touring production of Damn Yankees.  I’m glad the play moved along well, because even though I was very interested I found I couldn’t let myself be complacent about paying attention or my eyes would start to glaze over.

I guess such things happen when you’re as busy at night as I’ve been.

You know what really excites me about this?  Jeanna is not related to me.  We’re not friends (at least, not yet!) and we’ve never even met and yet– get this– she chooses to read my blog anyway.  Amazing, huh?

As far as I can tell this little award is a way that bloggers encourage one another.  I don’t get an all-expenses paid trip to a national blogging convention or anything.  I don’t even get need to go shopping in order to have some snazzy outfit for my acceptance speech (right now it seems a pair of yoga pants and a rather worn-out Ohio State t-shirt will do the trick).  All I have to do is follow three rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you.
2. Name your nominated blogs (10-15 is the standard number). Then notify them that you have done so.
3. Share seven things about yourself.

So, thanks Jeanna, and Sparky Nation, go check out her blog.  She’s a good storyteller, and a courageous one at that, because she tells stories even when she’s probably scared out of her wits to actually hit the “publish” button.

I subscribe to a lot of blogs but a lot of my favorite blogs are by people who are truly award-winning bloggers with more followers in one day than the sum total of comments I’ve ever had in the history of this blog (I’m not exaggerating). Many of the blogs I read are by friends who are posting personal things and aren’t yet looking for a broad audience., or use their blog as part of their business.  So while I don’t have 10-15 blogs to share, I do have a handful that I think are truly lovely…and the world needs to check them out!

Kinder Words  Kristin is creative, funny,and mama to twin toddler boys.  Heaven help her!

Seriously Because   She’s funny.  She’s fertile.  She can eat her weight in cupcakes.  I seriously love Lori.

Hope Alive   Oh my gosh…someone make her blog more often!  Kids these days…they just never listen to their mamas.

Can You Stay For Dinner?  Andie’s weightloss journey is inspirational, but even more so is her determination to live at peace with food…GOOD food.

Ok…now for seven things.  For pete’s sake, what haven’t I already blabbed?

1. I am an expert in choosing the exact right size container to hold the leftovers.  Just ask Mr. Sparky.  I always insist he affirm my talents in this area.

2.  I’ve done kilt another houseplant.  Actually, it’s not dead yet, but I can’t figure out why it looks so terrible and so as punishment for tormenting me with its wilty yellow blah-ness, I am refusing to water it.  That’ll learn it.

3.  I’ve given up on finding groovy socks that are thin and soft.  I mostly just get black and gray ones now.  But I still treasure my Frida Kahlo socks given to me by none other than the author of the Hope Alive blog mentioned above.

4.  I once soaped the fountain in Bellefontaine, Ohio.  It was a disappointing experience because it really didn’t bubble at all.

5.  I think the people God loves the best are the ones that most Christians think He’s mad at.

6.  I hate the discipline of a schedule but really don’t function well without it.

7.  The way my family sings Happy Birthday is the best. thing. EVER.

So…now that I’m famous, I promise I won’t forget the little people.  Mainly because I don’t know any.

I was slapped awake concerning haters just this morning when I sat down and saw the top news story being reported by Yahoo, which happens to be set as my homepage.

Paula Deen Caught Eating A Cheeseburger

Seriously.  That was the first headline listed.  Yahoo had nabbed it from ABC’s Good Morning America, but for the life of me I don’t know why it’s news or why I’d want to attach the concept of a “good morning” to it.  There was a republican presidential candidate debate last night.  There were storms in Alabama just a couple of days ago and some people were killed.  I can see those things being worthy of a top news billing.  But no…America would rather hear what Paula Deen is having for lunch.

The big deal, of course, is that Paula Deen announced last week that she’s had type 2 diabetes for the past three years.  She’s announcing it now because she’s going to be a spokesperson for a pharmaceutical company that makes a medication for controlling blood sugar.  And one can’t overlook that Paula Deen is the queen of buttery, sugary, Southern cooking.  It’s her bread and butter, so to speak.

The news report, however, was nothing but a giant gloat that Paula obviously hasn’t changed her lifestyle at all.  She was “woofing down” a cheeseburger.  And there were fries on her plate.  Condemn, condemn, condemn.

I don’t watch Paula Deen’s show on the Food Network.  But I know enough about cooking and nutrition to know that diabetes is not a death sentence for eating tasty food.  A person with diabetes can plan for a cheeseburger.  But whether or not she did really isn’t any of my concern.  And I don’t know why it’s anyone else’s, either.  Paula Deen’s health is her business and her responsibility.  And I figure the same holds true of anyone who cooks any of her recipes.

Haters will hate…but I sure wish they’d figure out just how ugly hating is.

6. Salted caramel on Granny Smith slices.

5.  Passed slow driver before bridge.

4.  Coldplay CD finally mine.

3. New National Geographic.

2. Purring kitty.

1. Nap.

Sara Groves wanted to write a song for the International Justice Mission.  She found this old civil rights song and realized there was no reason to change a word of it, so she re-wrote the music and let the words stand.  It is haunting and beautiful.

Project Jubilee has raised $285 in the past five days.  We are 6% towards the goal.  I am really excited.  Someone is going to get their jubilee.  Even if it takes an entire year to do it, it’s going to happen.  Someone, maybe a lot of someones, will no longer be a slave.   They will no longer be subjected to violence and oppression.  They will no longer be forced to labor or perform sexual services in humiliating, dehumanizing conditions.  They will know freedom.  And they will know that someone who never met them cared enough to do what it took to make it happen.

You can be one of the ones who cared enough to make it happen.  Join Project Jubilee.  We can make this happen.

“When you see a man walk free, it makes you dream of jubilee…

When you see a child walk free, it makes you dream of jubilee…

When you see a family free, it makes you dream of jubilee…

Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on.”  -Sara Groves

Of course, that’s always a danger with anything that happens at 1:20 am.

Isn’t it weird how it works that way?

We so easily forget that we live in a world of warfare.  There is a battle for our hearts, our minds, our very souls…a battle for our attention, our finances, our energy, our time.  I love knowing that the war between God and the devil is long over (someone showed up to a gunfight with a stick, and it wasn’t God).  But I’m not naive.  The reverberations of that war are still echoing through the world today, and sometimes we respond to them without realizing that we’re doing it.

Today has had bits of laughter, bits of hope, bits of determination, bits of thoughtfulness.  But here at the end of the day, it mostly tastes of disappointment.  Berating myself for feeling disappointed really hasn’t gotten me anywhere.  Trying to be something else hasn’t, either.  Disappointment isn’t fun or pleasant, but it’s honest and it’s real.  And it’s temporary. I’m not the first person on the planet to feel it and I won’t be the last.  And I will not die from it.

Hope can be awfully fragile.  Determination can be fleeting.  Sometimes your pockets are stuffed full of them, and other times you find that it all leaked out when you weren’t looking, and when you shove your hand in there to touch a reminder, all you find is lint.

Wouldn’t it be a relief to occasionally look someone in the eye and confess “I have lint in my pockets today”?  Because we all have lint in our pockets sometimes.  And maybe, contrary to what we’ve been told by well-meaning perky people, it’s more shameful to hide it than to admit it.

The thing about having lint in my pockets is that I know it’s temporary.  I know where to get more hope and determination.  I know Who has an unlimited stock of it, and all that is His, is mine.  So my pockets may be empty of the good stuff and packed full of fluff, but it’s ok because I have a thermos by my bed and a tank on my wall and a jug on my shelf and a box on my cabinet and a vat in my van and none of them ever run dry.  I can get a refill.

Disappointment tastes like dirty socks and cilantro.  Refills taste like chocolate milk and hugs.

I like refills better.

I have had a lot of birthdays that came with uncertainty built in.

“This time next year I will no longer be at this school…”

“This time next year we’ll be living in another state…”

“This time next year we’ll have another baby…”

This time there’s nothing built in.  No impending moves, no planned personal changes.  It’s just that sometimes life can look static, but if you stop and pay attention, you can feel movement.  You can feel your balance shifting.  It’s small and subtle, but unmistakeable.

I wonder if I should buckle my seat belt, but then again, buckling in might prevent the only shot at flying I may ever get.

In April of 2009, I mentioned in another post that slavery and human trafficking weighed heavily upon my heart.  It is nearly three years later, and it’s time to turn that into action.

Today I launched Project Jubilee.  If you click on that link, you’ll get an explanation of what it is and why I’m doing it.  I will no doubt be talking about it a lot over the next year.

I can say without hesitation that I have no idea where the money to do this is going to come from.  I have committed a set percentage of what I earn from my job to this, but that’s not likely to even come close to covering this amount.  I intend to do some projects for sale or auction; that should help a little.  I have started the fundraising page so that others can chip in, too.  But right now, $4500 seems like a huge amount of money.  I once heard Graham Cooke, a prophetic teacher I like to listen to, say that it’s silly to not attempt something because of money, because money is the easiest stuff in the world to get.  He was talking about ministry-related projects…God projects.  And I know he’s right.  God owns everything, and when you’re doing stuff for His kingdom, you have access to unlimited resources.  I guess I need some maturing to help me understand what “unlimited resources” really means.  My head knows, but my knees are  knocking.

God is a “more than you can ask or imagine” sort of person.  He is wildly creative and ridiculously generous.  I want to live as a reflection of that.  I want to think like Him.  And though it’s really important to me that this project accomplish the goal of funding a rescue mission, it’s also important to me that it trains me to operate in confidence in these kingdom principles.

I will be raising money for the next year.  If the goal amount is accomplished before the year is up, I’ll keep going.  We’ll fund another one!  Or we’ll fund some aftercare packages, or pay for some attorneys to prosecute offenders, or provide some education for those who are now freed.  We’ll keep providing as long as He keeps providing.

I really want my Jubilee year to mean something awesome for others.  I don’t mind that it’s people I won’t meet this side of heaven.  Justice is justice.  Mercy is mercy.  This is the way of the Kingdom.

By the way, there are loads of wonderful organizations doing anti-trafficking work out there, but if you’re not familiar with the International Justice Mission, you really should check them out.  What they are doing and the level on which they are doing it is awesome.  Maybe give them a “like” on Facebook, too.  And please…feel free to forward the Project Jubilee page to your friends and family.  If Jesus can feed thousands with a handful of fish and a few loaves of bread, then He can use our bits and pieces to restore dignity and freedom to the lives of people He loves.  But first we have to offer them.