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Under the bed

July 27, 2009

There’s this fun little trick to use when you get bored in church, assuming you go to a church that uses hymnals (which I no longer do).  Pick up the hymnal and start riffling through.  When you read the title of a hymn, insert the words “under the bed” after it.  For example:

“I’ve Found A Friend”(under the bed)
“Stand Up, Stand Up For Jesus” (under the bed)
“Onward Christian Soldiers” (under the bed)
“O Little Town of Bethlehem” (under the bed)
“In The Garden”(under the bed)

I’ve entertained myself through many a dull service with this trick.  I’ve also gotten into trouble because it breeds a serious case of the giggles in places where it’s not acceptable to be giggling.

The past week showed me that there was no room for anything under the beds of kids #3 and #4.  A few days ago when I asked #3 for a drawing book that I thought she had, she went into her room, got down on her belly, and started pulling stuff out from under her bed.  And she kept pulling stuff out from under her bed.  She’d pulled out enough to fill a small storage rental locker when she said “oh–I think it’s on the other side.  I have to get at it from the other end”.  Then she went down to the end of her bed and pulled more stuff out.  Just when I thought it had to be empty, she’d yank out another pile.  It finally occurred to me that the last time I’d seen the book, it was upstairs, so while she was digging I went up to kid #2’s room and sure enough, it was right there on her shelf.  I sheepishly told #3 that I’d found it.  She shrugged and shoved all that stuff back under her bed.  I don’t know how her bed isn’t six feet off the floor.

Then yesterday I decided that I’d had enough of the mess in #4’s room.  This was a recipe for disaster, of course…determined and fed-up mama, resistant kid, and a perfectly good Saturday.  The mess on the floor was horrendous.  The mess in the closet was horrendous.  The mess on the bed was horrendous.  The mess in the dresser and on the book shelf was horrendous.  But most horrendous of all was the city dump that had set up shop under her bed.  Clothes, books, shoes, papers, pens, stuffed animals, CDs, spilled candy, bits of unidentifiable stuff, and hairballs evolving into small mutant squirrels…it was all crammed under there so tight we couldn’t move the futon bed up into the sofa position.  She spent most of the day wailing and snuffling because we wouldn’t let her do anything until the mess under the bed was cleared and sorted and the floor was reasonably clear.  Today I helped her finish the job by moving a bookcase into the room and reorganizing and hauling two trash bags full of junk out of there.  It still needs work.  But at least it looks inhabitable by humans now, as long as they don’t have terribly high standards.

I am not looking under any more beds for a while.  It’s just too stressful.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 28, 2009 4:27 am

    :) lovin it! We us our “under the bed” as storage…but you can buy those really cool plastic storage tubs (nice and flat and on wheels) that are made for “under the bed storage”. As long as it’s in a tub….I don’t really care how messy the “inside the tubs are” :)

  2. Hannah permalink
    July 28, 2009 5:20 pm

    Okay, so i have lots of things under my bed. But i did NOT just shrug when you said you found it. If i remember correctly i was a bit upset i went through all that trouble.

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