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Oh no he didn’t!

June 2, 2010

A couple of weeks ago Mr. Sparky and the eldest Sparkette were in Walmart.

See, you already know this is going to one of those stories, don’t you?  What is it about Walmart?  And how is it that if you look at you find so many photos of people taking their goats to Walmart?  Like, in the store.  This baffles me, and makes me a little bit jealous.  I never get to see goats at Walmart.  I see plenty of people dressed terribly inappropriately, but no goats.

They didn’t see a goat.  I just realized I might have gotten you excited that this was going to be about how they saw a goat in Walmart.  I figured I’d better let you down fast, because I realize how disappointing it could be to think someone was about to tell a story about seeing a goat in Walmart only to find out it was some other lame story.  Not that this is a lame story. Well, maybe compared to seeing a goat dodging the falling prices…

So Mr. Sparky and the Sparkette were shopping for items she needed for an upcoming trip.  They were near the aisle that stocks sunblock and aloe and solarcaine and all the other anti-sun and oops-too-much-sun items.  A guy who was very sunburnt was there shopping.  And there in the middle of Walmart he picks up a bottle of aloe, whips off his shirt, and has someone slather his back with the stuff.  Then he put his shirt back on, capped the bottle of aloe, and put it back on the shelf.  And then he left.

Yes, you read that correctly.  Mr. Sparky said they didn’t even know for sure that the guy knew the person slathering him down.  He might have just enlisted some poor passerby.

Personally, that would be an offer I could definitely refuse.

It makes me wonder if afterward he wandered over to the grocery area, cracked open a 2 liter of coke, took a couple of slugs, capped it and put it back.  Then over to the dairy, open up a package of string cheese, pull one out and eat it, then shove the wrapper back in the open bag and walk away.  And we won’t even discuss the potential sock exchange program.

I don’t mean to be spiteful, but I hope they nabbed him for shoplifting.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Judyhoo permalink
    June 3, 2010 9:16 am

    I once saw an elderly couple checking out the mustard selection. They picked one of the bottles up, took the cap off, and stuck there fingers in it to try it. After licking the mustard off their fingers, they put the cap back on, put the bottle back on the shelf, and proceeded on their merry way.

  2. Eric Partin permalink
    June 3, 2010 11:11 am

    Because of that website, I walk through Wal Mart with my phone camera ready to snap a picture at a moment’s notice. And mark my words, I will one day be published on

    • June 3, 2010 12:02 pm

      I’d be impressed if it wasn’t so daggone easy to do.

  3. Darlene Partin permalink
    June 4, 2010 7:43 am

    I am forwarding this blog to the head of security at Walmart. Yes, I know him and he attends Shoreline. I’m sure he can’t do anything about it now. Maybe he will recognize this story or at least he can add it to his “what are these people thinking, and who raised these people who shop at Walmart?” list.
    Love your blog, Lisa!

  4. June 6, 2010 10:08 am

    Gross! And Judy’s mustard story is even worse!

  5. June 9, 2010 12:58 pm

    Oh my…disgusting on both the aloe and the mustard accounts! I still will get my groceries at Walmart, however, I will double check the seals on things now :P

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