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Day 4

September 20, 2010

I was a picky eater when I was a kid.  I am still particular about some things (like soap weed!) but not like I was when I was a kid.  My parents both grew up on farms and had to eat whatever was on the table, so they didn’t have a lot of patience for my picky-ness.  If it was on the table, it went on my plate, and I had to figure out how to get it down.

There are some rules for choking down food that grosses you out.  If you were a picky eater too then you probably already know these.  But for those of you who have been indiscriminate eaters your entire life, this may be new to you and so I am here to educate you.  Ready?

1. Cut small pieces.

2. Do not chew.

3. Place food bits far back in the mouth.

4. Do not breathe through your nose any more than necessary.

5. Wash the offending non-chewed bits down with a gulp of water.

Some foods are easier to wash down than others.  Lima beans, for instance, are quite easy to wash down without chewing.  Peas are more difficult because they are more slippery and tend to roll around in your mouth even when you’re trying to hold them in place long enough to get the water glass to your mouth.  And some foods can’t be washed down.  For me the nightmare meal was homemade vegetable soup.  I detested the stuff.  It literally made me gag.  I was still expected to eat it, though.  I can remember being stuck at the dinner table all alone, a good hour after everyone else had finished, because I was expected to sit there until the soup was gone, and I was getting it down in sips and nibbles.  My parents definitely enforced the “clean plate” rule.

There are a couple secondary tips that help.  You can’t do these very much, but when you really despise a food, every bite you don’t have to eat is a bonus.

1. Let a bite of food “accidentally” fall off the edge of your plate and get shoved under the rim.  You can only do this with maybe one bite per meal or it won’t look like you’re a messy eater; it will just look like you’re hiding food and you’ll get busted.

2. Become the dog’s favorite person.  I really didn’t do this one, however.  The dog wasn’t particularly quiet when she got a stray table bite, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get away with it.

My parents were pretty good about letting me take super small servings of things I hated.  But sometimes they lost patience with how much water I’d go through in a meal and they’d cut me off.  That was miserable.  But the result was that I learned to wash down bites with teeny swallows of water, and as you can imagine, I’m pretty darned good at taking medicine without having anything to drink, or only needing a small amount.

Just in case you’re wondering what it was I hated, let me give you the short list:

-Lima beans
-Green beans
-Peas
-Cooked carrots
-Broccoli
-Cauliflower
-Cabbage
-Anything where I could SEE the chunks of tomatoes
-Sweet potatoes
-Cabbage rolls
-Vegetable soup or any soup even moderately heavy in veggies
-Creamed tomatoes on biscuits
-Creamed peas and new potatoes
-Anything where the onions had any crunch
-Anything with celery in it
-Green peppers

Trust me, this list could go on.  But on any given evening at least ONE of those items was usually on our table.

You know, now that I look at it…I still despise most of the things on that list.  I’ve changed my mind about four of them.  But you’d best not tell my mother, lest I visit home and she prepare them for me in some way I still wouldn’t eat them.  Yick!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Liz permalink
    September 21, 2010 11:52 am

    I’m soooooo with you! You’d think we’re related. I’d eat the green beans & I’ll eat the peas now. The 1st item on my list though is celery. The smell gags me! I’d sooner eat the dirt it grew in. My brother used to use it as a torture devise. He still does. Chew it up & blow it at me. UGH!

  2. Kellie permalink
    September 23, 2010 7:42 pm

    I felt the same way about my mom’s homemade beef & vegetable soup (although now I like it; most things I didn’t like then, I like now – except for liver and saurkraut… still can’t stand those! but I digress). Anyway, I solved the issue of the soup… I told mom I couldn’t eat anymore; I was feeling sick. She told me I would eat, every bit of it. Towards the end of the meal, I threw it all back up into my bowl and over the table and myself… She didn’t make me eat it anymore…

  3. September 29, 2010 9:16 pm

    I’m with you on lima beans. Gag!

  4. sandy sholar permalink
    November 7, 2010 3:28 pm

    oh my gosh…I know it was not funny…then, but I have to tell you that I am sitting here in my computer chair convulsing with laughter. The chair is shaking so hard I’m liable to fall out of it!

    And oh, when you said the CUT OFF your water I just about cried from laughing so hard. I can barely type because when I laugh really hard my eyes close! I just can’t imaging them not letting you have extra water. That is so awful…. so why am I convulsing, laughing and crying??? I don’t know..the whole thing just hit me funny.

    So, thank you for telling that story…..I need a good belly laugh for my health today! That was better than any I Love Lucy episode ever aired.

    Remind me never to cook for you! I could never remember what NOT to fix. But, whenever you come to my house, you can have as much water as your heart desires!

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