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Seasons change

March 1, 2011

Yesterday the Bradford Pear trees in this area began blooming.  A few eager azaleas joined in,  though most of their brethren are still drowsing, barely opening their eyes after a short winter’s nap.  The birds are getting noisier, the days are getting warmer, the tourists are getting braver, and the snowbirds are packing up to head north for the warmer months of the year.  There is no doubt about it; spring has sprung.

As the seasons change outside my windows, so they change in my life.  In the past week I’ve done two things that signal the change of the wind.

The first thing I did was move my things out of the studio space I was sharing with a friend.  The lease was up and she decided not to renew it due to lots of changing seasons in her own life.  It was a bittersweet experience.  I used the space regularly last summer until I got an actual job.  That put a serious dent in my ability to get in there and spend the time necessary to foster creativity.  Over the past few months I’ve only been able to make it in there a handful of times.  I learned something really important about having a studio space.  I learned that if it takes me half an hour to drive there, half an hour to drive home, and there’s a toll bridge between my house and the studio, it puts a serious crimp in my ability to pop in and just do “a little something”.  Time has to be planned (not easy when I’m working a retail schedule and shepherding a family), and I have to make the venture worth my while which means having enough time to actually get something done.  That adds a pressure that isn’t very conducive to creative processing and experimenting.  So now I know that as much as I loved having that space, if I were to do such a thing again it would need to be much closer to my house.  Who knows if I’ll ever have such an opportunity again.  For now all my art supplies are scattered and stacked all over the floor of my bedroom, and I have threatened a couple of snoopy cats with their lives if they mess with anything.  Unfortunately, they didn’t look particularly intimidated.

The second thing I did was paint and rearranged the second Sparkette’s room in anticipation of the impending arrival of the GrandSpark.  He should be here in about two months.  I really don’t have any idea what it will be like to have him here.  I don’t know what it will be like to parent a parent.  I don’t know where to buy a seat belt clip to get the car seat in our old-school Civic that the Sparkette drives that doesn’t have current car seat latches.  I don’t know how to make it clear that I refuse to answer to “Grandma” (but “Nana” would be ok, I think).  I don’t know a lot of things.  But the season is changing and soon another generation will be under this roof.  I am sure God means it for good, so in spite of all the things I don’t know, I can at least rest in knowing that it’s going to all be ok.

Sometimes the changing of life seasons make me bounce with excitement over what is ahead.  Sometimes it makes me restless.  I’m in more of the latter camp these days.  I think that’s because the changes are obvious, but the direction is not.  I’m still waiting for that.  I find myself wondering what God is going to do.  Is it something new?  Is it a reworking of something old?  Is it a continuation of something already begun?  All of those things are typical of God, but it is yet to be seen what He has planned for this next season.  So I wait, and I wonder what is next in my story.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anita permalink
    March 2, 2011 6:11 am

    Nana is good….I’m a nana…you will be a great Nana to Ryland. he wll learn so much and I think Sparkette will be a great mom…I get the feeling she is changing already. Of course it will be Rylands job to aggrevate every animal in the house. lol…your house will be full of love and joy with plenty to go around for all.. Love you

  2. March 6, 2011 10:01 am

    Wonderful post…I love hearing your honest thoughts…..I do understand those thoughts…’s actually like you spoke my heart while I was at this same stage.

    Do you remember the thoughts that went through your head when your first baby was born? Thoughts of “will I have enough love inside of me to share with this child? Will my love be enough, etc.” (ha, or maybe that was just me)….then the second one comes along and you’ve been so madly in love with your first child that you think “how will I ever have the capacity to love this second child as much as I love my first”…but you look into the eyes of this new child and the love is there….more than you EVER imagined….the capacity of our hearts to love is soooooo great! God has made us with an amazing capacity to love!

    Well, it’s no different with grandchildren :). Even when the circumstances aren’t ideal, non of that matters once you hold your grandson and the love pours out!! Ryland will be such a blessing in your lives….I know Oliver is in ours!!

    BTW….I refuse Grandma too….I’m “Oma” (German for Grandma)….Nana is perfect for you! I can’t wait to see Hannah’s room!!

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