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Daughters will love like you do

April 24, 2011

When I got into my van after work today, I had a chance to see something really good.

I was about to put the key into the ignition when I looked up just as a man and his young daughter approached the car in the spot directly in front of my van.  The little girl was around nine or ten–old enough to be quite self-sufficient, but definitely pre-pubescent.  Instead of them going to their separate doors and hopping in the car, the man walked his daughter to the passenger door, opened it for her, and stood there patiently while she chattered excitedly before she high-fived him and got into the car.  He closed the door behind her and she sat like a little lady as he walked around to the driver’s side and got in.

It was a small thing, and yet it was huge.  I saw a young girl being raised to expect to be treated well by men.  I saw a slice of the formation of a young lady who has received clear communication that she is worthy of care and respect.  Such a girl is far more likely to grow into a young woman who knows who she is and does not tolerate abuse or mistreatment, all because her daddy treated her with honor.

Women typically don’t understand their worth.  I see this at work almost every day.  Females, even trim, strong, beautiful ones, speak of their bodies harshly and with such terribly strong criticism.  They foster self-loathing in their hearts, which is a terrible poison to ingest because it chips away at inner beauty and makes the body and soul sick.  The media definitely feeds into that terrible habit.  But I wish daddies understood the power they hold in their daughters’ worlds.  I wish they understood that their actions– or non-actions– are forming the future for their little girls, who will one day be women.

John Mayer’s song Daughters sums it up well:
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls are continually changed
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the guide and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

If you’ve never heard this song (what rock have you been living under?!?), it is achingly beautiful and you can hear it here:

Daughters by John Mayer

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 24, 2011 4:52 am

    Beautiful post! :-)

  2. April 24, 2011 8:23 am

    This post hit something deep inside….and I’m sitting here bawling like a baby….not only for me, but for my daughters!

    If Only…. two small, meaningless words by themselves….but together pretty powerfully full of regret! If only men truly understand the power they have to lift up and set on the mountaintop or to beat down and doom to the valley….without even speaking a word!

    I’m glad there are still dads who understand this power and are using it to set their daughters lives on the right path!

    Thanks for the post, Lisa….John Mayer has several songs where he gets the words “just right”, doesn’t he?! :)

  3. Paisha permalink
    April 28, 2011 12:38 pm

    Absolutely beautifully stated, Lisa! I am typing this through tear-filled eyes!
    “Daddy Hunger” is one of the deepest wounds we women have to deal with and I understand it only too well as it was the root of the struggle I had with bulimia.

    What a sweet kiss on the cheek it was for the Lord to allow you to witness such a beautiful thing! I really appreciate you sharing it!

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