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Worth the trip

August 11, 2011
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When Mr. Sparky and I get in for the evening, we’re usually in for the evening.  We don’t venture back out much.  Maybe a walk or a bike ride or an occasional trip to Shangri La Dairy Queen, but that’s about it.  But this evening our agenda changed.

The official excuse is that Jake, currently referred to as Jerkface Dog, had decided to burrow under the yard gates in order to bust his way to freedom, and now we needed some pavers to fix his damage and prevent further escapes.  Apparently he was no longer satisfied with life at Gulag 1233, since this was the second time Jerkface Dog had pulled such a stunt in the past week.  Now this may be the official reason for the trip to Lowe’s, but I noted that Mr. Sparky seemed unusually eager to also visit Sam’s Club.  Don’t get me wrong– Sam’s Club is great, but we always come out of there with eight things we didn’t go in for, usually in a 55 gallon drum size.  So we don’t usually go in to casually browse.  The real reason he wanted to visit soon came out, though.

“Ok…” Mr. Sparky began, “someone brought these cookies into work and they were seriously good.  Turns out they came from Sam’s Club’s bakery.  You wouldn’t think commercial bakery cookies would be so wonderful, but as my co-worker put it, they are ‘shockingly good’.  We gotta go get some.”

“Really?  What kind of cookies were they?”

“They had dried cranberries in them.  And oatmeal.”  He noted my doubtful look and quickly reassured me.  “Really.  They are THAT good.”

I said ok and so we told the Sparkette to come with us even though it was doubtful she was yet cool enough to do so.  We hopped in the van and off we went.

Sam’s Club is a wonderland, you know.  You can get cool stuff there, most of which you never knew you needed.  Before we made it back to the bakery section we had a book, 2 DVDs, and 2 bags of mini-bagels in our cart.  I was shopping the Glorious Cheese Aisle when Mr. Sparky approached me, two boxes in his hands.

“These are them!” he said excitedly, holding out one of the boxes.  “These are the ones!”

I looked down at a box of cookies clearly labeled “Coconut Pecan”.  I looked back up at him.

“That says “Coconut Pecan”.

“Yeah, I know.  These are the ones!”

“There are no cranberries OR oatmeal in those.”

“I know, but these are them.  I have no idea where I got cranberry oatmeal.”

“Me either.  Because that’s not even close.”

“I know.  But these are them.  And they’re really shockingly good.  Really.”

At this point I was wondering just how much he was pulling from the RDB (Rectal Database), but figured that even if he was wrong again and the ones he ate were really Sugar Cookies with M&Ms, the coconut pecan ones were probably pretty good anyway.  The other box he had was filled with Peanut Butter cookies.  It was two boxes for the price of one.  Of course.

We got into them as soon as we were back in the van, on the drive to Lowe’s, which is just across the parking lot.  They had no cranberries.  They had no oatmeal.  But they were indeed shockingly good.  Almost macaroon-ish in flavor and texture, though they looked like regular bakery cookies.

You really should go get you some.  And maybe a Best of Van Halen CD, a multi-pack of socket wrenches, and a ferret cage while you’re there.

 

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. sandy permalink
    August 12, 2011 6:56 am

    Since I don’t have a Sam’s card, can I nab one of the cookies from you? OR did you already eat them all up?

    • August 12, 2011 7:48 am

      Still have a few…but probably not for long, so you better come get one fast! ;)

  2. August 12, 2011 8:54 am

    You know, Jerkface is just trying to come find his REAL person. I miss him :(

  3. Paisha permalink
    August 12, 2011 9:08 am

    A ferret cage, huh? Do you guys even HAVE a ferret?! LOL
    I love reading your posts, Lisa! :)

    • August 12, 2011 10:08 am

      Like I said, it’s a great place to buy things you never knew you needed…and maybe DON’T need. Ferrets stink. ;)

  4. Maureen permalink
    August 12, 2011 11:14 pm

    I just LOVE the expression RDB!!! As a retired RN, I can say it sounds much more polite and “clinical” than “pulling something out of your arse”…

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