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My answer

October 25, 2011

I don’t know.

I can make guesses, some of the educated, some of them straight from the RDB (rectal data base), but the bottom line is that I don’t know.

Or maybe I do know but it’s just not for me to say.

Why am I telling you I don’t know?  Because every now and then I feel the weight of the expectations of others that I “know” something and that I share it.  But what I’ve often found is that people aren’t always so much interested in what I know, but in telling me why what I know is wrong, or of no value of them.  It’s not about what I know or don’t know.  It’s about the opportunity to tell me through the demand and subsequent torpedo that I am disappointing and irrelevant.

It takes a lot of self-control to not holler “THEN WHY’D YOU ASK???”  True confession?  I don’t always have that much self-control.  Sometimes I holler it.  Sometimes.

On nights like these I am pretty amazed by God and what He’s willing to endure from His kids, because we are often brats toward one another and brats toward Him.  We arrogantly demand answers, and then either sneer at the answers or curse His patient silence, which we typically interpret as “withholding”.  We deserve a good smiting, but He isn’t threatened by our bad behavior and snot-faced attitudes.  I hate feeling powerless but it’s just not an issue for Him.  He has the power and chooses the strength of restraint.

I mostly just want to throw something.   Which is proof of why I’d make a lousy God, and nobody should ever vote for me.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Joann permalink
    October 26, 2011 8:07 am

    The fault is not with your answer. The fault usually lies with the hearer of the answer. Usually when I ask for advice (and yes I am very self aware of my failings) I’m not looking for an answer to my problem, I’m looking for a sounding board, validation for my feelings, and a place to vent. If someone gives me the truth to what my problem is, the answer or solution, sometimes my spirit is not ready for the answer and therefore I balk and blame them for their answer. I don’t think we should be discouraged, especially if our response to their question is in love. It sure doesn’t feel good to feel like you are disregarded or irrelevant.

  2. October 26, 2011 10:13 pm

    I am of course curious what prompted this-The more I write-or think about writing-the more I am curious where other bloggers find their inspiration. I find myself trying to talk about the “BIG”issues and perhaps I need to take a big step back and quit trying to save the world-the little lessons sometimes are more important anyway-and I DEFINITELY have no answers….

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