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Stink, stank, stunk

February 24, 2012

It’s not often I notice a person’s scent unless I’m hugging them or that person is wearing way too much fragrance.  But last night at work I had a customer who exuded such a lovely smell that I actually broke down and asked her what it was.  She told me she couldn’t remember who made it but that it was Grapefruit & Vanilla and she got it at Sephora.  I was very surprised, because what I was smelling didn’t smell a thing like grapefruit or vanilla.  I don’t like vanilla scents.  I don’t like them in perfumes, I don’t like them in candles, I just don’t like them.  I do like citrus, and in fact it’s one of my exceptions to “people should not smell like food unless they’ve been standing over a stove” rule.  But there is nothing about a scent called “Grapefruit & Vanilla” that would induce me to try it.

I only work a few steps from the Sephora store, so after my shift I popped in.  The sales girl knew what line I was looking for and took me straight to it.  It as actually an entire line of  “_____ & Vanilla” scents.  I sniffed them all, and she sprayed a bit of Grapefruit & Vanilla on one arm and Lavender & Vanilla on the other.  I walked out, figuring to check out how they mellowed with my body chemistry and knowing that it would be easy to stop back in if I decided I really wanted some.

The Lavender & Vanilla was ok.  But the Grapefruit & Vanilla?  There was no mellowing.  In fact, as time went on it seemed to get stronger and stronger.  It didn’t smell a thing like what my customer had been wearing.  She smelled exotic and faintly herbal.  Me, I just smelled like someone had dunked me in a vat of fake vanilla and vomit.  My arms were suddenly far too short, because every movement seemed to keep that awful stench wafting right up to my nose.  When I got home I went upstairs and scrubbed at my arm.

That only served to make my washcloth smell like vanilla vomit.  Yay.

I didn’t have time for a shower, so I wiped as best I could until the stink was somewhat lighter, and then I took off to do the chores that needed to be done before the Sparkette needed to be picked up from softball practice.  Every move I made seemed to send fumes rolling through the air.

I am sure that stuff smells good on some people, but I am obviously not some people.   I will not be overriding my good sense and trying on anymore vanilla-based scents.



3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 24, 2012 1:39 pm

    I know exactly the brand and am dying to try their deodorant because I’ve heard great things… but it’s $18 dollars!!!! I’m having a hard time convincing myself to buy it, especially now if it smells like vanilla vomit:) Hilarious, Lisa!

    • February 24, 2012 3:35 pm

      Well, you are talking armpits, and maybe vanilla vomit would be an improvement from au natural…but I don’t think I’d want any, personally!

  2. Maureen permalink
    February 25, 2012 12:17 am

    Wipe off stinky perfume with a little rubbinng alcohol. Works like a charm.

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