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The shift in the day

December 15, 2012

I woke up this morning wondering how much I could reasonably cram into this day without setting myself up for unnecessary stress.  I had been invited to spend some time sharing with a local MOPs (Mothers Of Preschoolers) group, so that was first on the agenda.  Granted, I no longer have any preschoolers, but if having survived past preschoolers counts, then I’m a pro.  They were an awesome and gracious group of women.  I left them around 11:30am,  hoping that I could run home, change clothes, and get a pedicure, a chiropractic adjustment, and some Christmas shopping done by 1pm.

That didn’t happen, of course.  It wasn’t really within the realm of reasonable cramming.  Can’t fault me for trying, though.

I walked into the nail salon, glad that my feet were finally going to get some attention.  I try to keep up with them during the spring, summer, and autumn months so my toes look reasonable in open-toed shoes at work.  Winter, however usually means closed-toed shoes, and I hate spending the money on a pedicure I can’t show off.  But when your toenails are starting to resemble talons, it’s time to invest.  I grabbed a bottle of sparkly red polish (China Glaze’s Ruby Pumps, for you nail lacquer aficionados out there. One of my few non-OPI colors.) and settled into the barbaric “massage” pedicure chair which proceeded to beat the ever-lovin’ stuffin’s out of me.

A television was on the wall in front of me, but it was set on some insipid program I had no desire to see.  Thank goodness the  subtitles were on and the sound was off.  I decided to catch up on my Words With Friends games and busied myself trying to figure out how to make a play with a tile draw of z,x,i,i,i,i,u.

At some point I looked up and saw that the television channel had been changed to a news program.  And my heart sank.

A young man entered a small elementary school in Connecticut this morning and killed 20 young children and 7 adults.  I don’t know how many more were wounded but are still alive.  He then killed himself.

I can’t fathom the pain of those families who sent their little kids to school, not knowing that they would never see those children alive again.  I can’t grasp the trauma the children and staff at that school have endured.  My heart aches to think of it.

And as I sat there watching, my feet being scrubbed and buffed and rubbed, I thought how incredibly strange it was that my current concern was whether or not I was going to manage to get to the chiro’s office before he and his staff take a 2 hour lunch at 1pm.  It wasn’t that I didn’t feel the grief of the situation in Connecticut.  It was just that I wasn’t in Connecticut, I was in Florida.  My heart was broken for those kids, that community, but my life did not stop.  And even though it felt rather like a betrayal in that moment, I had to keep on living, keep on planning my day, keep on moving forward.

I don’t understand the level of evil that could do what was done today.  I have no comprehension what would make a young man give himself over to such a heinous act.  I’m not supposed to understand these things.  I find it useless to demand an explanation, because even if you give me a reason, I will not understand.  It isn’t the language of the kingdom I serve.

Lord, have mercy.



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