Skip to content

Face set like flint…and jello

February 21, 2013

I’ve heard it said that when God closes one door He opens another, but it’s hell in the hallway.

Boy howdy, does that ever seem to play out true.

Transition.  Change.  It’s happening around me left and right.  Knowing it was coming didn’t ease it or lessen the shock.  In the Big Picture, it’s not unwelcome.  In the immediate picture, it’s turning every breath into a battle.  I can see how this is supposed to end, but getting there?  Wow…

I wish I was one of those persons who can waltz through transitional seasons with confidence, power, and grace.  But the truth is that I’m limping, shaking, and have shed more than a few private tears and even a few public ones.   It’s a violent roller coaster of thoughts and emotions, and I no sooner get my balance than something throws me off again.

And sometimes it’s the smallest, most ridiculous stuff that throws me off.  That surely doesn’t do much for the confidence factor, that’s for certain.

I am barraged by an internal stream of questions. What if I can’t keep up?  What if I never fit it?   What if everyone thinks I’m always this much of a basket case?  What if I AM always this much of a basket case?

Ugh.

The only thing I know is that I have to keep facing forward, moving forward.  Turning around is not an option.  And that means that if I have to move forward completely undone, then so be it, and I’ll let the chips fall where they may.  It’s not my preference– I much prefer a more tidy process– but I’ll take it over turning tail and returning to the illusion of safety.

Be gentle when you have to remind me I said that, please.

 

Advertisements
5 Comments leave one →
  1. kcnewheart permalink
    February 21, 2013 7:30 am

    LOL. I never heard the extended part of the “door” saying before. It might have helped to know that part while I was transitioning between the doors – of course, you figure it out really fast!

    • February 21, 2013 8:37 am

      I’ve heard that saying attributed to Bishop Garlington, but I don’t know if he’s the one who said it first. :)

    • kcnewheart permalink
      February 21, 2013 8:45 am

      I liked it so much I passed it on to Jack. He said, “Combine that with Churchill’s – ‘When you’re going through hell, keep going.'” Hmmm… guess so.

  2. Kayla Jo permalink
    February 21, 2013 9:38 am

    I had never heard the other portion either, but it sure makes sense! Thank you for the reminder.

  3. February 21, 2013 9:42 am

    Thank you for putting words to my heart. :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: