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Over Rover

December 4, 2013

Today…I am so over dogs.

The Lolly-headed Dog has been in freak-out mode because he can tell the Far-Away Sparkette (who is not so far away right now) is gathering and packing, and he’s terrified he’s going to be left behind.  I keep telling him there’s no danger of that.

Like, none.

In the meanwhile, Jake the Jerk-faced Dog has to be sure that everyone knows he’s boss dog, and so whatever the Lolly-head does, he has to do too, except with more passion.

Have I mentioned that Jake weighs 13 lb. and the Lolly Head weighs about 60 lb.?  But they both seem just fine with Jake doing the big dog strut.  So…whatever.

This afternoon the GrandSparks were down for a nap and the Far-Away Sparkette, who’s had a rough few days of health challenges, was attempting to join them.  Suddenly a high-pitched commotion broke out in the next door neighbor’s back yard.  There was so much screeching and squealing and yelping that I wondered if something was trying to carry off their small dog.  Or maybe a pygmy rattler had gotten to it.  I tried to look out my window from my living room and I could barely see the little dog down at the back corner of the yard because there was yard junk blocking a clear view.  But the dogs in my house were not about to let all that noise go unanswered.    They began barking vigorously, and some dogs across the street were joining in on the doggie chorus.

All I knew was if those dogs woke those babies, I was not going to be happy.

There was still a lot of yipping coming from the neighbor’s back yard, and I couldn’t see if they were home.  I went to my back door for a clearer view, ready to go out and scare off the velociraptor that must surely be chewing on that poor dog.

Uh…no.  No velociraptor.  No hawk, no coyote, no pygmy rattler.  Just a couple little dogs gettin’ busy and making sure every other dog in the neighborhood knew they having a bit of afternoon delight.

I fussed at the dogs in my house to hush up, but they were now busy barking at the lady delivering packages.  And the people walking on the street.  And the cars going by.  And the leaves blowing across the lawn.  And the spiders in their heads.

Mercy.

The Lolly-headed dog is also an expert door-rusher.  If you’re small, like a toddler, he’ll just bowl you over and be halfway up the street before you realize what happened.  If you’re not small, he’ll just shoot straight between your legs, or take you out behind the knees.  Once he’s gone, he’s gone.  He knows his name when it’s dinner time, but not when it’s time to come home.  We spent the entire day trying to be sure that dog didn’t escape.  And he didn’t, but my last nerve is shot, because did I mention that whatever the Lolly-headed dog does, Jake the Jerk-Faced Dog also tries to do?

Anyway, tonight I am reminded why I am a cat person.

And also why I’m glad all our animals are fixed.

 

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