I walked in, dropped my things on a chair, and walked to the back room where I would spend the next hour. I gave myself a little pep talk on the way, reminding myself to pull my act together, that I am a Light Worker even amongst Light Workers, and that showing up is the first part of participation, so show up already.
But as I got there, all I could do was take a deep breath and whisper the truth to Him: “I got nothin’.”
And it was true. I didn’t want to be depleted, but I was.
But then came His sweet reply: It’s ok. You’ve got Me.
And with that I felt the weight of His presence fall upon me, a sweet kiss of communion that left me more than a little wobbly, and I could feel His smile warm me inside. Occasionally during the morning my focus would wander and I’d feel that familiar dull drain return, pulling me down. But the instant I returned my awareness to Him, I once again felt the bliss of being surrounded by the weightiness of His love and affection. I couldn’t walk a straight line, and I was prone to breaking out in giggles.
His goodness comes in so many forms, and I am grateful that for me, today’s demonstration was tangible.
I spent a lot of years unable to fathom a relationship with Him that wasn’t about shoving my head full of more scripture so I could know more about Him. Somewhere along the way, however, all that info dropped ten inches from my head into my heart, and it was no longer about knowing things about Him. It was about communing with Him, talking with Him, listening to Him, just enjoying His presence and letting Him delight in me—even in the moments when I feel far less than delightful.
It’s His opinion about me that counts, after all. Not mine.