The tension

Sometimes life seems like a giant I Don’t Know.

Most of the time I’m at peace with that.  I don’t have to know.

There’s a painful beauty in living in the tension between the seen and the unseen, the now and the not yet.  I love the sense that there’s so incredibly much to see and know, and yet, something tells me that I am not yet equipped to comprehend it, or even perhaps withstand it.

But then there are the days when that tension feels nearly unbearable, and my faith longs to become sight.

Those days are usually the days when I’m on pain and suffering overload, and there are no answers.  Hope seems fragile and slippery, and comfort elusive.

I realize that it’s not “spiritually correct” to admit to those days.  But while we’re all wandering around sucking it up with our SC faces on, we set ourselves up for feeling like there’s something wrong with us, like we’re the only ones trembling beneath the weight of the It’s So Hards and the I Don’t Knows.

The truth is we all shake in our shoes, at least at times.

Because sometimes it really is so hard, and we just don’t know.  And it’s painful.

It’s on days like these that I am glad that Jesus put on an earth suit and came down to walk among us.  Those are the days when I sit empty-handed and aching, and whisper “You know”.  And I know that He gets it.  He really knows.  And He’s willing to keep me company, no matter where I am, no matter what I see or don’t see.

The best part is that I don’t have to sit long before one thing becomes clear…

…His company is actually better than seeing and knowing.

 

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