NUDs to you
It’s November 17th. Word has it that it’s National Unfriend Day.
Don’t worry. If we’re Facebook friends, you’re safe. I’m not going to unfriend you.
National Unfriend Day, which I’ll refer to as NUD from here on out because I don’t want to type that business over and over, is the brain child of talk show host Jimmy Kimmel. Here’s a brief video to explain the NUD deets:
There. Feel enlightened?
I reckon every person with a Facebook has some obnoxious Facebook friends. I reckon every person with friends has some obnoxious friends. Some folks really do manage to corner the market on obnoxious, and they don’t need a Facebook to prove it.
But here’s a little secret: what I call obnoxious you may very well call funny, or endearing, or inspiring. One person’s obnoxious is another person’s hilarious.
NUD-ing someone for that is essentially NUD-ing someone for being themselves.
In life outside of Facebook, healthy people have varying levels of intimacy and influence in their lives. “Friends” who routinely demonstrate obnoxious, self-absorbed, negative, or abusive behavior don’t make the cut into the center circle.
It’s really that simple.
We can’t avoid difficult or unpleasant people. Truth be told, we’re all sometimes the difficult or unpleasant person, and we need some friends who know how to deal with us in a way that points us toward the light instead of shoving us down into the dark. Difficult people won’t become less difficult if healthy people refuse to demonstrate healthy interpersonal interactions with them. That is why we have boundaries. They help us keep our relationships ordered for maximized relational health.
Healthy people know that in order to stay healthy they need their closest relationships to reflect values of honor, love, and respect. We can still have relationships with people who struggle with those values, but giving them the spots reserved for those who influence us or have close access to the deep things of our hearts will almost always work against us.
So go ahead…post pictures of your feet or your dinner on your Facebook if you want. Brag about your kids. Rant about the traffic or the weather. Use terrible grammar and spelling.
Anyone who NUDs you for that sort of stuff isn’t the kind of friend you want anyway.