Extra cheese, no pickles
Some nights I simply have little to say.
Actually, it’s more that I have little to say worth my trouble to write it and your trouble to read it.
I mean, do you really want to hear that I’m currently disgusted with Jake the Jerk-Faced Dog because he won’t stop licking? Seriously…gross. It’s not that he’s got allergies or hot spots or any malady like that. He’s just a dog, and dogs lick. And when they lick, they wheeze and slurp and make all manner of appalling and sickening noises.
Add this to the list of why I prefer cats. Don’t tell Jake, although I’m pretty sure he already knows.
And I can’t imagine you really care to hear me wax poetic about the glories of Pop Chips. Barbecue flavor Pop Chips, to be specific. I was recently introduced to them. Now all I can think is that I need to go to Sam’s Club because these little snack-sized baggies they come in at regular stores aren’t sufficient. I need me a barrel full. And a snorkel mask.
And then there is the weather. It’s all anyone is talking about right now because parts of the midwest, upper south, and northeast are absolutely slammed with ginormous amounts of snow. But not here. It was 70 degrees when I got up this morning. I went to the commissary (a whole ‘nother story you really don’t want to hear) and when I came out it was 50 degrees. Right now it’s 39, but according to the app on my phone it feels like 30.
Isn’t it nice to know just how miserable you’re justified in feeling?
Speaking of the commissary, they were completely out of Ruby Red Grapefruit juice. This should be a crime punishable by the force-feeding of canned yellow grapefruit juice. Gak. Not that you care, of course. Heck, you probably have a fridge full of Ruby Red, you lucky duck.
My brain isn’t thinking fabulous thoughts tonight. My brain stem is working, for which I am immensely grateful, but the higher level neurons really aren’t functioning beyond “hey! can someone make us a sammich?” while they scratch their bellies and belch.
It’s never pretty when my higher level neurons lose all class and culture.