Worse than a toddler
Ever have one of those nights when your body is begging you to go to bed and you actually listen to it?
And then to repay you, it sleeps about three hours and then wakes up and refuses to go back to sleep.
So you coax it and cajole it, you take it to the restroom and drain it, and you lie down very, very quietly and force yourself to be very, very still.
And your body says “My nose is stuffy.”
So you take care of that and then it says “It’s too hot in here.”
You throw off some covers, only to hear “My stomach is rumbling. I need a snack.”
Here you draw the line because your body does not need a snack at 4:00am, and you’re not about to add that much wakeful activity to this irritating middle-of-the-night wakeup call. You hand it your Kindle and tell it to read itself back to sleep, which is a nice idea but doesn’t work.
This is about the time a cat starts yowling outside the bedroom door.
Then after a couple of fruitless hours, you give up and get up to face the long day ahead of you, bleary-eyed and feeling pretty loopy.
This is the totality of my last two nights.
Does this ever happen to you? Or is it just me?
You don’t need to answer that.