Some days it’s easy to remember. I like those days. I reckon everybody does.
But other days it’s harder. And those are the days, of course, when I get challenged the most.
It’s like every shifty pair of eyes in the universe is glued to me, waiting to see if this is a good day to try to rattle me.
Will she remember? Or will she forget?
On days it’s easy to remember there’s little strain to remind myself who I am. And then I get to live generously out of that.
But there are the days when I’m really tired and I’m over it before I ever begin it. Every negative, critical comment is like nails on a chalkboard, and it takes all I have to hold steady.
And then I have to remind myself:
I will not snipe just because someone sniped at me.
I will not be snarky just because someone snarked at me.
I will not be moved just because someone vents their own frustrations by sending accusations my way.
I will not lay down my authentic strength in Him just because of someone else’s faulty belief that I am strong enough to endure their hurtful behavior or poor choices without applying consequences to the relationship.
I hate those moments when I find I got ahead of myself and responded before I could remind myself.
It’s not because I’m so great and don’t feel like sending back a dose of what was hurled at me, or at the very least a reasonable measure of self-defense. I wouldn’t need to remind myself of the things I’m not going to do if I didn’t at least sometimes feel like doing them. And often, it would be “deserved”.
But the truth is, that is not who I am, even on days I feel like it. Jesus made me something different. I am a daughter of God. I represent the kingdom of heaven. A person who is an ambassador for His love, kindness, and mercy should not engage in activity that’s snipey, snarky, accusatory, or abusive. Nor should they feel compelled to defend themselves against those who do engage in that sort of activity.
I answer to a higher Authority who never snarks and is never rude. And He’s never asked me to waste my time with false judges in petty court.
And that is worthy of remembering.