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Half a jar of jelly, ranch dressing, and what is THAT?

November 29, 2015

Sometimes I get so irritated with my own restlessness that I start peppering myself with questions out of frustration.

As if that’s helpful.

As if I’m going to hear anything different from the last time I did it.

What do you want?  

What are you looking for?

Sometimes I know.  Sometimes I don’t.  More often than not, it’s like standing in front of the open fridge with a raging case of the munchies, only to discover that in spite of all the containers of mystery leftovers and half-empty jars of condiments, there’s nothing in there to eat.  Or better put, nothing in there I want.

I live in blessing.  And I am grateful for that blessing.

I am also hungry.  What I am hungry for can’t be found in any fridge.

I have to keep reminding myself that my hunger isn’t a condemnation of what’s wrong with me.  It’s simply a facet of how God made me and the desires He put in me.  I am not trying to be hard to please or overly picky.  I’m just trying to be a good steward by not settling for what I know isn’t going to scratch the itch and will just lead to more restlessness.

But hunger is a tension, and it’s not easy to live in tension.

 

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 29, 2015 9:29 am

    As I hope this for myself, I hope you find ultimate satisfaction in knowing Him more deeply. And, may we both enjoy the journey He takes us on to get to that place. :-)

  2. November 29, 2015 1:59 pm

    Amen. 😘

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